Surgeons Can Now Sculpt Your Fat Ass Belly To Look Like Delicious Abs

Actually getting your butt to the gym can often be harder than the workout itself, but there might now be a shortcut for getting a defined set of six-pack abs. Researchers at the University of Miami’s Leonard M. Miller School of Medicine have developed a new plastic surgery technique called abdominal etching that can reshape belly fat to make you look like you spend all your time at the gym.

As detailed in a study recently published in the Journal of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, abdominal etching uses a more targeted approach to power-assisted liposuction, a technique where a vibrating tube connected to an aspirator removes subcutaneous fat deposits through suction. A plastic surgeon uses these same tools to sculpt multiple layers of a patient’s abdominal fat to accentuate the natural abdominal muscle lines—typically six for men, and three vertical lines for women. Based on the patient’s preferences, the sculpting can be tailored for softer, shallower abs, or a more-defined and chiseled look, as well as improving the definition of hip lines.

Honestly, this makes my diet kinda not worth it. For the past few months, I’ve been sticking to this thing pretty well. I’m wearing size 34 pants again without feeling like my shorts are so tight that I risk getting ingrown pubes. That’s happened to me before. I pop the infection, retrieve the hair with tweezers, and then move on with my life and a slightly sore groin area.

All I had to do was get a little procedure and I would have been granted abs that look like Tiger Woods in his prime.

Now, just because I’m wearing 34s doesnt mean I have a six-pack. I dont, and I never will because that would be vanity and vanity is a sin. I just wanna be trim so that I can look a little sexier on the beach this summer. I dont wanna be so sexy that I become vain about it to the point where I’m tempted to give my dick the ole South Carolina squeezer (hand job using only squeezing techniques) whilst gazing upon my own body in the mirror. That’s vanity and again, that’s a sin.